When you’re building a brand or selling a product, it’s easy to fall into the trap of “persuasive” marketing—using clever hooks, big promises, or pressure to get people to buy. But there’s a more powerful (and sustainable) approach: empathy.

Dale Carnegie’s classic, How to Win Friends and Influence People, is filled with lessons on human connection—and one of the biggest takeaways is this: people don’t want to be sold to. They want to be seen, heard, and understood.

Start by Seeing Things From Their Point of View

Carnegie wrote, “Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view.” This applies just as much to writing an email or sales page as it does to building relationships. When you focus on what your customer wants, fears, or struggles with, you shift from convincing them to connecting with them.

Instead of asking, “How do I get them to buy this?” ask, “What problem are they facing, and how can I help?”

Speak Like a Human, Not a Sales Script

Empathy shows up in your tone, too. Beginners often worry about sounding “professional” or “credible,” but sometimes that leads to cold, robotic language. The truth is, people respond to real, relatable voices. Show your personality. Use simple language. Share stories.

When someone feels like you get them, they’re far more likely to trust you—and that trust leads to action.

Your Audience Isn’t a Target, They’re People

Whether you’re writing a product description or posting on social media, try thinking of one person you’re helping instead of a general “audience.” Imagine sitting across from them. What would you say? What would they need to hear?

Carnegie’s approach reminds us that influence isn’t about pushing—it’s about understanding.

Final Thoughts

You don’t need to pressure people into buying. Empathy earns trust, and trust creates loyal customers. When you build your brand around connection, the conversions take care of themselves. People follow businesses that feel human—not just persuasive.

 

This article is part of our Business Coaching blog series. At Dataczar we talk to a lot of small businesses. We’ve found a few books that we keep recommending time and again. To better help our customers, we’ve added a Reading List for Small Businesses to our website. We encourage every small business owner to read and keep these timeless business books on their office shelf.

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